Disney's Pinocchio Part III

OK, where did we leave off? Oh right, Pinocchio is hanging from a tree. The moral of the story is that cocky, selfish little boys will get their just desserts. The original story wasn't really meant for kids though. Think of the original Pinocchio as a cautionary tale in the same vein as a Grimm's Fairy Tales. It's geared to make kids afraid of disobeying their parents. Pinocchio was a jerk, so he got hung in the end. Collodi's editor thought that it would make a better story specifically for children, and asked that the ending be changed. Collodi decided to listen to his editor and added a large portion to his work.
So, we have to rewind a tiny bit. Let's go back to the part where Pinocchio bites off the cat's hand. Pinocchio gets away and instead of being caught right away, he reaches a white house. When he knocks, a fairy with turquoise hair greets him. Before he can really start talking to her, the cat and the fox catch up with him and hang him from a tree. They get tired of waiting to see him suffocate, so they leave the scene. The blue haired fairy sends a falcon and a poodle to rescue Pinocchio. I can see why a falcon might be able to help, but a poodle? Do they even have poodles in Italy? The fairy then calls on three famous doctors to tell if Pinocchio is alive or not. Oh, by the way, the famous doctors are also animals, an owl, a crow, and a cricket. It's the same cricket that Pinocchio supposedly killed in act one back from the dead to scold Pinocchio. The owl and the crow can't tell if Pinocchio is dead or not, but the cricket knows he's fine and proceeds to tell Pinocchio that he's been very bad and has hurt his father.

The blue fairy then asks Pinocchio where the gold coins are. He lies and tells her that he lost them. Bad move. His nose grows. And it keeps growing because Pinocchio doesn't know when to shut up. The fairy explains to Pinocchio that his nose will grow anytime he tells a lie, so he better watch what he says. Unlike in the Disney version, Pinocchio's nose does not go back to normal eventually. The fairy has to send a group of woodpeckers to hammer his nose back to normal.

Things start to get weird again. Not that it isn't already weird, but this story keeps surprising me. The fairy and Pinocchio decide to become brother and sister and the fairy has her animal minions send for Gepetto so he can live in the forest with them. It's not like he has a perfectly good house to live in. It's possible that they could not live in the woods. I don't know, I didn't think they were out of options. Pinocchio decides to go out to meet his father but runs into the cat and the fox again. He apparently cannot see past simple disguises because he didn't know that they were the bandits that just tried to rob him. It should be painfully obvious with the cat's paw being gone, but no, Pinocchio decides that these two are trustworthy. They remind him of the field of miracles and off they go. The reach the city of Catchfools, where all that live there suffer for their foolishness. Pinocchio goes to the "Field of Dreams" and finds only a baseball field. Not really, but that would be awesome. He gets there and buries his gold coins, then goes away to wait the twenty minutes it will take for the tree to grow. He comes back twenty minutes later and finds no tree, and even worse, no money. Even though his brain, if he has one, is made out of wood, he realizes that he's been tricked. He goes to the judge in Catchfools to complain about the fox and the cat, but as is the custom in Catchfools, is thrown in jail for his foolishness. Pinocchio is quickly released though, because the emperor of Catchfools declares a celebration and all prisoners are set free. If we ran on that kind of system, we'd be screwed.

Collodi must of been high for at least some of the writing of this story. Proof: Pinocchio heads back to the forest but a snake with a smoking tail is blocking his way. Pinocchio assumes it's dead so he tries to step over it. The snake jumps up and hisses at Pinocchio and makes Pinocchio fall down on his head. Struck by Pinocchio's fright and his comical position, the snake begins to laugh. He laughs so hard in fact, that he bursts an artery and dies. Yep. So to recap: Snake with smoking tail, falling down, laughing, death. Collodi must of really hated snakes.

Pinocchio makes it back to the fairies cottage, only to find a gravestone. Assuming that the fairy is dead, Pinocchio begins to weep. He cries until a pigeon offers to give him a ride to Gepetto who is on the seashore about to set sail to find Pinocchio. Why Gepetto assumed that Pinocchio was out to sea, I have no idea. Pinocchio rides the pigeon to the sea but they are too late. Gepetto has set sail. Pinocchio leaps into the sea but is swept underwater. He comes up to see Gepetto get swallowed by a large shark.

A dolphin offers a ride to Pinocchio and they go to the nearest island, where he runs into the blue fairy. She is now old enough to be his mother and takes on that role, telling him to go to school because it will help him become a real boy. OK, has Pinocchio really forgotten about Gepetto? I mean, he just got eaten by a shark! Here's a short version of the next big part: Pinocchio plays hooky, gets in a fight, gets arrested, gets chased by a dog into the sea, rescues drowning dog, becomes best friend with dog, caught in ogre's fishing net, dog saves Pinocchio, Pinocchio goes home, snail answers door, Pinocchio kicks door and gets stuck, Blue fairy gives him another chance, does well in school, goes to invite friends to party, meets Candlewick. Candlewick tells Pinocchio of the land of play, a place where you play all day and never work. He goes with Candlewick there and plays for a very long time until one day he wakes up with donkey ears. A squirrel shows up and tells Pinocchio that that's what happens to people that don't work. Communist squirrel! Also, why a squirrel? Why not a human being? Are animals on the same level as humans in this book?

This is seriously the dumbest book ever. Just wanted to get that out there. Pinocchio becomes a full on jack-ass and is sold to a circus. He brakes his leg and like every horse like creature, he needs to be put out of his misery. Since they didn't have shotguns back then, they attempted to drown Pinocchio in the sea. When they pull him up though, he is a wooden boy again. He explains that a fish ate all the donkey skin off of him. Seriously, what's wrong with this story? What kid wants to hear this? Pinocchio is then let out to sea and is promptly eaten by a large dogfish. Inside he finds Gepetto who has been living inside the shark with his raft. Oh, whats that? I said it was a whale at first, then a dogfish, and then a shark? Well, Collodi apparently couldn't make up his mind on what creature eats the main characters in this story. Pinocchio and Gepetto get out of the shark/whale/dogfish and swim back to shore. How'd they get out? It doesn't say. ANOTHER PLOT HOLE!

They get to shore and go back to the woods. Along the way they meet the cat and fox, who are now actually blind and lame. They ask Pinocchio for money, but he doesn't listen to them. He leaves them to their demise. Pinocchio is totally cold-blooded! I mean, he lets people go to jail for him, bites off a cat's hand, makes a snake implode, fights a boy, and then denies destitute animals. They find a small house and find that the cricket lives there. He says they can stay there as long as they work. Communist cricket! Pinocchio gets a job working for a farmer. While he is there, he notices that the farmer's dying donkey is none other than Candlewick. Pinocchio mourns his stupid, stupid friend. He mourns his donkey friend, but not once did he grieve over losing Gepetto. This kid has his priorities straight. After some time, Gepetto is ill and Pinocchio has to take care of him. When Pinocchio goes out to get some supplies, the snail comes and tells him that the fairy is dying and needs the money that Pinocchio has made from his job. Pinocchio gives the snail the money and returns home. That night he dreams that he is kissed by the blue fairy. OK, so first they are strangers, then siblings, then mother and son, but now she is kissing him in his dreams. Ugh. Pinocchio wakes up to find that he is a real boy, has a new suit and shoes, and a bag full of gold coins. Not only that, but Gepetto is all better. They all live happily ever after...except the cat, the fox, the snake, and Candlewick.

So, as you can see, Disney had to rework a couple things, as in most of it. You'll notice that the only character that they added was the coachman. But, it was basically like Disney was writing the story from scratch since the original was so freaking disturbing.

Disney's Pinocchio released in 1940 and was critically acclaimed in the U.S. and did well. This was not the same result worldwide however. WWII kept Pinocchio out of many foreign countries til after the war which greatly hurt the movies gross. The movie cost Disney 2.28 million and the movie made only 1.42 million. So, thanks to Hitler, Pinocchio wasn't a big financial hit like Snow White. With subsequent re-releases and adjusting for inflation, the movie has, in total, grossed over 84 million. The movie did go on to win Oscars for Best Song (When You Wish Upon A Star) and Best Score. This is the first competitive Oscar that Disney won and would be the only Disney movie to win both those Oscars until Mary Poppins. Pinocchio today is considered one of the greatest Disney films, both in story and animation. The effects animation alone set the standard for all animated films afterward.

In my opinion, I'm glad that Walt Disney created a different version from the original. I thought the donkey transformation scene and Monstro were terrifying enough. I can't imagine what I would of thought as a child if I had seen all the stuff in the original Pinocchio story.

Disney's Pinocchio Part II

Like I was saying before, the original tale of Pinocchio is pretty messed up. Created by Carlo Collodi in 1883, the Italian children's book was originally a serial, but was put together into a book a few years later. The story starts off with a carpenter named Master Antonio. He finds a good piece of pinewood and is about to carve it to make a leg for his table. As he starts though, the log shouts out, "Don't strike me too hard!" This legitimately freaked out Master Antonio. His clock, candlestick and fine china talked, but a piece of wood, that was too much! He had to get rid of this thing, but didn't know exactly what to do. He looked at his fireplace, then back at the possessed log, then back at his fireplace, then back at the possessed log. Just then, his neighbor Geppetto bursts in and just happens to be looking for a piece of wood to make a puppet. Apparently, Geppetto was known for hating children. He hated them so much, in fact, that he wanted to make a wooden version of one. Your guess is as good as mine. Master Antonio sees his chance and offers the log to Geppetto.

Geppetto is incredibly poor and decides that the best use of his time is to make puppets and sell them. Geppetto begins to carve the block of wood, whom he names Pinocchio, into a puppet. As soon as he finishes Pinocchio's nose, it begins to grow. This doesn't seem to phase Geppetto, and he continues to carve this puppet. It is revealed that Pinocchio, unlike the Disney version, is extremely mischievous. So mischievous in fact, that when Geppetto finishes Pinocchio's legs, Pinocchio begins to kick Geppetto incessantly. Geppetto finishes the puppet, even though it's clearly possessed, and teaches it to walk. Pinocchio thanks him by running out of the house and out onto the town. Pinocchio is quickly picked up by the Italian version of a policeman, a Carabiniere. The policeman remembers that Geppetto hates children, so he assumes that Geppetto had been smacking Pinocchio around, which he should of been doing, and goes back to Geppetto's house and arrests him. Geppetto is thrown in jail. Pinocchio, feeling little to no shame for getting Geppetto thrown in jail, goes back to Geppetto's house to eat all his food. When he arrives, a talking cricket, who isn't given a name in this version, tells Pinocchio that boys that do not obey their parents turn into donkeys. Pinocchio decides that he's not going to take that from a cricket and throws a hammer at him. Pinocchio throws it much more accurately than he thought and accidentally kills the cricket. That's right, Pinocchio smashes Jiminy Cricket with a hammer. Don't worry, it gets better.

After committing pesticide, Pinocchio remembers that he has the munchies. He can't find anything in Geppetto's house, so he goes next door to beg for food. The neighbor is annoyed by this talking puppet because...well, it's an annoying talking puppet. The neighbor dumps a huge basin of water onto Pinocchio to get rid of him. Pinocchio runs back home to warm up, making the smartest decision he's ever made; he puts his legs on the stove, then falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds that his legs have been burnt off. At this point, it's obvious that Pinocchio is a few prongs short of a galaxy. Geppetto returns home from jail, since in Italy they give people who abuse children one night in the pen. Geppetto makes Pinocchio new feet and feeds him the pears he bought on the way. I just realized....why does a puppet need to eat food? I mean, seriously. Anyway, to thank Geppetto, Pinocchio promises to go to school. Geppetto doesn't have money for school books so he sells his only coat.

Pinocchio heads off to school but notices a crowd gathering nearby. He looks to see what's going on and finds that their is a marionette performance going on in a theater. Pinocchio is so curious about the show that he sells his school books to get a ticket. If you already didn't hate Pinocchio, you probably do now. The puppets on stage are performing until they see Pinocchio. They get all excited an exclaim, "It's our brother, Pinocchio!" The crowd becomes upset and the "puppet wrangler" as I will refer to him, comes out to see what is going on. He becomes angry that Pinocchio ruined his show and decides to use him as firewood to cook his lamb dinner. Pinocchio pleads for his life. The puppet wrangler decides to spare Pinocchio, but then chooses to use one of the other puppets to cook his lamb. Pinocchio pleads for the puppet's life. The puppet wrangler gives up and learns of Pinocchio's poor father. He gives Pinocchio five gold pieces to give to Geppetto. I wish I could ruin somebody's show and have them give me money in the end.

Pinocchio runs home to give the money to Geppetto, when he comes across a cat and a fox. Pretending to be blind and lame, they tell Pinocchio that if he buries his money in the field of miracles, outside the city of Catchfools, they will grow into a tree with a thousand gold coins. Pinocchio is also naive in this version. He believes them and they all go off to the city of Catchfools. They stop at a tavern where the cat and fox gorge themselves on food at Pinocchio's expense and then leave Pinocchio in the night. The innkeeper wakes Pinocchio and tells him that the cat and fox had to leave in an emergency and would meet Pinocchio in Catchfools. Pinocchio sets off and is confronted by the ghost of the cricket. The ghost cricket tells Pinocchio to go back home and give Geppetto the money. Pinocchio ignores the cricket and is visibly frustrated that he doesn't have a hammer to throw at him. The cat and fox disguise themselves as bandits and jump out at Pinocchio, trying to rob him. Pinocchio sticks the coins in his mouth and climbs up a tree. The "bandits" start a fire under the tree and Pinocchio is forced to jump down. They try to pry Pinocchio's mouth open but Pinocchio bites the cat's hand off and escapes into the forest. Yeah, that's right. He bites off the cat's hand. That guy that faced Mike Tyson had it easy. You mess with Pinocchio, you're gonna lose a hand. The fox and cat catch up with Pinocchio, however, and hang him from a tree. The End. I'm serious. This was the original ending to Pinocchio. Pinocchio gets hung. Though if a puppet bit off my hand, I'd probably want to hang him too. Collodi's editor took one look at the ending and told him to rewrite it. He said it was too depressing and needed to have a happy ending. Collodi did rewrite the end, but basically wrote another half of the story instead of a new ending.

The second half of that story comes another day!